4 times that Finland thought he understood and 1 time he knew he did
by Peter-Stark-Rogers
Summary: All Finland wants to be is helpful! Though he quickly finds out that that is much easier said than done. It's not his fault he is so innocent...


"Excuse me?" Denmark's voice could be heard suddenly yelling.

Despite Denmark yelling quite often, his current outburst managed to successfully quieted down the rest of the Nordic countries that filled the room. One by one they all ended their conversations with each other and turned their attention to the Dane. Which in turn resulted in them looking at the smaller nation of Iceland, whom the Dane was staring at.

Iceland, not liking the attention, mumbled "What?" before rolling his eyes as he crossed his arms. He quickly turned away from the older nations before continuing with. "It's not that big of a deal. Denmark is just being stupid as always."

Norway and Sweden seemed pretty satisfied with that answer considering that they knew all too well of Denmark's antics. With this their curiosity of what caused the outburst quickly died down. Finland, being the caring soul that he was, still looked a little bit worried about the scene that had unfolded. However seeing that Sweden didn't care, Finland decided that he didn't want to rock the boat and made the cautious decision to keep quiet.

"Oh yeah, I'm just over exaggerating?" Denmark asked looking highly offended as he spoke. "Okay, then why don't you go ahead and repeat what you said to me, to the rest of us."Denmark challenged, causing Iceland to blush madly.

This seemed to reignite the flame of curiosity amongst the Nordics and attention was quickly drawn back to their youngest.

Iceland awkwardly shifted where he stood, running his hand across the back of his neck nervously. It was obvious to everyone that he didn't want to repeat whatever it was that he had said and to no one's surprise he tried to deflect what Denmark told him to instead.

The room went completely silent as an uncomfortable tension swept over the room. The air around them seemed to quickly become heavier as Iceland became more exasperated "Gods why does it matter what I said? Just in case you guys haven't noticed I'm an adult in human years. I can do what I want and say what I want without having to worry about what you guys think. ESPECIALLY someone like Denmark."

Before Denmark could start yelling again Finland quickly spoke up, lifting a hand to Denmark's chest as a sign for him to stay quiet. "Iceland please listen. We understand that you, in human years, are an adult but you are not human. That's like if your human child said that they are an adult in dog years. We all know that dogs live significantly less than humans. So to compare them is as ridiculous as comparing us to humans." Finland said calmly as he offered a small smile to the frustrated country in front of them.

Denmark open to the mouth to say something, though a quick look from Sweden shut him up.

"Perhaps maybe if you could just tell us what was said we could work this out much faster. Then no one's feelings would have to get hurt." Finland said trying to offer a solution. "If what you said really doesn't matter then it shouldn't be that big of a deal to repeat it. You can prove to us right here right now that Denmark is just being overdramatic, but until you can give us that proof we're going to have to go with what Denmark says."

Iceland wanted to complain about how unfair that was, however, none of the country's liked arguing with Finland. Especially considering that he was right most of the time. So instead Iceland just mumbled something under his breath, blush quickly swimming back to where it was on his cheeks before.

"What was that Icy? I don't think we could hear you. Maybe try to speak a little louder." Denmark taunted.

"God all I said was that Netherland looks like good daddy material!" Iceland yelled without thinking.

Everyone in the room seems pretty shocked, all except for Finland of course who seems more confused than anything and Denmark who looked proud of himself.

"Oh! I think I know what's going on here!" Finland said quietly as he suddenly reached over and gave Iceland a hug. The other Nordic highly doubted that the small Finnish man actually understood what that meant, though they listened on anyway.

"Don't you guys see it? Iceland wants a father figure in his life!" Finland said as if it was obvious. "Iceland, honey, we are all family here! Oh, it must have been hard for you to watch us adopt Peter. Seeing something you wanted get given to someone else instead." Finland mumbled looking close to tears as a startled Iceland stood there only blinking. "If you felt this way you should have come to us! I'm sure we could have figured something out. Most of us see you a younger brother but if it makes you feel any better you can see us any way you like! Even if you need us to be your 'daddy material.'~!"

From the corner Norway suddenly started choking on his coffee, excusing himself from the room so that he could compose himself on again. Sweden oddly enough wanted to blame the Danish man for what was happening. He felt like Iceland had been joking, and though the joke wasn't all that funny, what was even less funny was what was happening now. Especially since the Dane in question wasn't doing anything to help the situation but instead decided that now would be the perfect time to start laughing so hard he looked just about ready to cry.

After a few minutes of very mixed reactions happening all in the same room, Norway returned and immediately noticed that it was up to him to explain what 'Daddy material' really meant to Finland.

"Listen Finland. I don't think that you quite understand what you're saying."

"Of course I do! It must have been so hard for him to have to watch Peter get double what-"

"No, what Iceland said has nothing to do with an actual dad. It's something stupid that teenagers are saying nowadays. Like 'Oh that guy would make a good father to my kids.'. He's becoming a teenager and he's getting all weird on us. You know with hormones and all that." Denmark said trying to help Norway out.

The word 'hormones' seemed to make something in Finland's brain click and with a smile, he threw his hands up in the air "I get it! He's becoming a little adult! That must mean he needs someone to give him the talks!"

Everyone heard the 'S' at the end of Finland's word though they assumed that it was just something that came with his accent. As many words with him were made plural or singular depending on how he decided to use them.

" I really don't think-" Denmark tried, only to get cut off.

No! Den, I really think I understand it this time!" Finland said excitedly. " That would mean that Iceland has the crush on The Netherlands right? Then it is our job to teach him the right from the wrongs. On this topic!"

"Maybe so but do you really think that now is an inappropriate time to have that kind of conversation?" Denmark asked, feeling uncomfortable that he was being the responsible one.

" I don't see why we couldn't do it here. Why don't you just let me handle it then?" Fin had meant for that to be reassuring though the three older Nordics all suddenly got 10x their previous anxiety.

Finland took Iceland to a nearby table and sat him down as he began to speak.

"Look Iceland you're getting to the age where your body is beginning to change and you're starting to feel emotions that you have never felt before." Finland began, not noticing the disturbed look that Iceland was suddenly giving him. "Obviously you feel a certain way for the Netherlands and that's completely fine! It's very natural." He spoke, choosing to ignore the "Oh my Gods." that came from the younger.

"When people are first starting to get together and they have a thought that their relationship might move to something more than friends, they do something magical just between the two of them. However, this can be done with more than two people. Sometimes four or even 6 people~ You go to a fun location and-"

"Tino! I can't believe I have to say this to you of all people but that's really not cool man." Denmark said as he and the others started blushing like mad. "You need to start off small! You can't just start going off into kinky stuff like that!" Denmark complained as the others nodded along.

"What it's perfectly normal for people to double up!" Finland complained as Norway covered Iceland ears. "When I was younger it was weird to only have two people. In fact, it was customary to have about 4 or an older sibling would join."

Denmark looked just about ready to throw up and by this point, even Sweden was giving Finland a very disgusted look.

"Even so that was way back then! A lot of weird stuff happened back then!"

"Weird? I see young people doing it all the time!" Finland said trying to back up his argument.

"Where!?"

"At parks, amusement parks, the movies, places like that."

"Just out in the open!?'

"Well duh," Finland mumbled before turning his attention back to the young boy looking mortified in his chair. "I didn't know that the others have such a problem with double dates. Maybe if Norway and Denmark really don't want to join I can be then chaperone for your guyses first day instead." Finland said genuinely confused as to why the others were acting so strange.

"Wait... this whole time you were talking about dating? As in like going to the movies to watch a movie not..." Denmark started but found himself unable to finish.

"Huh? Not what?" Finland asked sweetly as Sweden shot Denmark another look to shut him up. A look that almost dared him to answer.

"Nothing, nothing!" Denmark said quickly waving it off. "I was just confused for a minute. Of course, you were talking about dating. Just go ahead and continue, pretend we never interrupted you." Denmark said as Norway finally released Iceland's ears.

"Anyway," Finland mumbled happily as he continued his lesson. "After a couple dates you may find that that isn't enough for you and you wish to confirm your love through more physical acts. Such as putting your body together. This is also completely normal. You are pretty shy so you probably won't want to do this in public at first but-"

Though once again Tino was cut off, however this time it was from Norway whose cheeks were stained red as he covered his face with his hands. "I really rather that we all not be having this conversation right now."

"Oh come on, you can't be against this one!" Finland said desperate to continue his lesson. "I've seen you and Denmark do this many times. You'd be a hypocrite if you didn't let Iceland." Finland whined as Norway gave him a dirty look. "What me and Denmark do behind closed doors is none of your business and honestly I'm pretty surprised that you would bring something like that up in public." Norway said looking pretty hurt.

"Yeah, aren't you supposed to be like our 'Moral Compass' or something? I would hate to see what people would think when they find out that Santa talks about such things." Denmark teased though didn't seem nearly as worried as Norway was about what was said.

Once again Finland lowered his head and apologized. "Look I'm very sorry... I didn't think that you guys thought of holding hands as such a taboo topic." And With that being said a wave of sweet relief swept over every single Nordic once again.

"...You were talking about holding hands..." Norway asked as Finland huffed.

"Were you guys listening to my lessons at all? Of course I was talking about holding hands. What did you guys think I was talking about?"

This time it was Finland giving the others weird looks before he continued, He seemed much more hesitant than he had been the two other times he had started before.

"Anyway..." He said looking at the other Nordics as if waiting to be interrupted. Denmark gave him a sign to continue and so that's exactly what Finland did.

"After this, there will probably be a point where you wish to put more intimate parts of your bodies together to show how much you love each other. That is fine! Everyone here has done it!

Denmark opened this mouth to protest but Finland quickly cut him off before he could "No you cannot complain about this one. I literally gave you one right as I was coming in."

"Excuse me?"

"Wh't?"

Both Norway and Sweden had talked at the exact same time so Finland decided to answer Sweden first. "Sve why do you look so surprised? You watched me and then we did it afterward as well remember?"

The noise of arguments in the room slowly started to collect until everyone was yelling at one person or another. Norway was yelling at Denmark for him to explain exactly Finland was talking about, not too happy with what it sounded like. Denmark in return was yelling at Sweden to try to explain what his 'wife' was talking about. Sweden wasn't talking though he was pleading with his eyes for Finland to explain what's happening and all the while Finland was trying to get anyone's attention so that he could see what the problem has been this time.

From all the yelling Iceland's voice suddenly erupted quietly, though could still be heard over the other nations voices. "Kissing." 

Everyone turned their attention to Iceland as soon as they heard his voice, all confused as to what Iceland was talking about.

"I figured this one out on my own. Finland was talking about kissing, or giving a kiss to someone. I saw Finland kiss Denmark's cheek because he was complaining about how cold he was and then Sweden gave Finland a kiss cause he was jealous or whatever." Iceland said shutting everyone up.

"Of course I was!" Finland said tearing up. "Why are you guys acting so weird?' he asked innocently.

Everyone except Finland look like they had just been over an emotional rollercoaster and Denmark was the first to want to get off. "You know I'm not even gonna sugar coat it. I think we all know what we know. Iceland is obviously flustered enough to the point where we know he knows." Denmark said before turning to Finland. "Look Fin we thought you were trying to give Iceland the...sex talk."

"What? Of course I wouldn't! Not here. That wouldn't be proper." Finland mumbled as he wiped his eyes.

The others nodded and immediately felt bad.

"But while we're on the topic you know you will have to be careful with your sexual partners. There are things call STD's and-"

"Fin!"


End file.
